What is the danger of saying what you think in a divorce?

 Posted on July 23, 2025 in Divorce

Divorce is likely to stir up a lot of emotions in you, and expressing them verbally might seem like a healthy and normal thing to do.

While it's important to find some outlet for your emotions and voice some of your opinions, you need to be very careful about what you say and to whom.

Your words could be used against you

Much in the same way that the police must advise people they are questioning that anything they say may be used as evidence against them, you must remember that anything you say in a divorce might work against you.

Firstly, you need to remember that your spouse or their legal team might latch onto anything you say, especially if the divorce is contentious. They don't have to hear things directly; they could find them out via hearsay. Anything you say electronically could suffer the same fate - be it a social media post, email or message.

Secondly, you need to remember that the divorce judge could be influenced by whatever they hear you say, or are told or shown you have said. They only have a limited opportunity to get an impression of you, so one angry outburst or snide comment could have a big influence.

Thirdly, you need to think about who the things you say will get back to. Maybe you are talking to a close friend at a cafe or on a bench in the park. A child who is passing overhears part of the conversation and relays it to your child, causing them distress.

There may certainly be some negative points about your spouse that you do need to tell a court when divorcing. Learning more about how best to present your arguments is wise.