What Can You Do if Your Ex Violates a Virginia Custody Order?

 Posted on August 12, 2026 in Child Custody

If your ex refuses to follow a Virginia custody order, you have legal options. Virginia courts expect both parents to follow custody orders, even when disagreements arise after the case is over. A judge may order make-up parenting time, hold the other parent in contempt, or take other steps to protect your child. If your parenting schedule keeps getting ignored, a Stafford, VA, child custody attorney can explain your options.

What Counts as Violating a Virginia Custody Order?

A Virginia custody order is legally binding, and both parents must follow it, even when they disagree with it. Regardless of any life changes that happen after a custody order is entered, neither parent can choose to ignore the court's order.

Custody violations can include:

• Refusing scheduled parenting time

• Returning a child late without a good reason

• Repeatedly canceling visits

• Refusing to share the child's location

• Making major decisions without the other parent when joint legal custody applies

• Ignoring the holiday or vacation schedule

A single missed exchange because of an emergency is different from a parent who keeps interfering with parenting time. When violations become a pattern, the court may decide it's time to step in.

Should You Keep Records of Custody Order Violations in Virginia?

Good records can help if you need to return to court. They show the judge what happened instead of leaving each parent to rely on memory.

Save text messages, emails, and voicemails about missed parenting time. Keep a simple journal with dates, times, and a short description of each problem. If someone witnessed an exchange, write down that person's name and contact information. 

It’s also important to make sure that you are still following the order yourself while documenting all of the violations. 

Can a Virginia Court Enforce a Custody Order?

Virginia courts have several ways to enforce custody and visitation orders. One option is filing a Rule to Show Cause. This requires the other parent to appear in court and explain why they did not follow the custody order.

If the judge decides the parent knowingly broke the order, the court may:

• Award make-up parenting time

• Hold the parent in contempt of court

• Order the parent to follow the custody order

• Award attorney's fees or other relief when appropriate

The judge may consider how often the violations happened, whether they were intentional, and how they affected the child.

Can Repeated Custody Violations in Virginia Affect Future Custody Decisions?

Virginia courts make custody decisions based on the child's best interests. A parent who keeps breaking a custody order may raise concerns with the court. Judges want to see that each parent supports the child's relationship with the other parent.

Ongoing violations may also lead the other parent to ask the court to change the custody order. Judges decide these requests using the factors listed in Virginia Code § 20-124.3, which explains the best interests of the child.

Not every case ends in another court hearing. Sometimes an attorney can help parents resolve the problem through negotiation before the conflict gets worse.

Can You Stop Following the Custody Order in Virginia if Your Ex Doesn't Follow It?

It may be tempting to cancel the other parent's parenting time after they break the custody order. However, this can create new legal problems and may hurt your own case.

Virginia courts generally expect both parents to follow the existing custody order until a judge changes it. Even if the other parent isn't following the rules, responding with another violation may make it harder to convince the court that enforcement is needed.

Instead, keep records of each violation and continue following the order whenever possible. If the problems continue, an attorney can explain whether it's time to ask the court to enforce or modify the custody order.

Contact a Stafford, VA Child Custody Lawyer Today

If your ex continues to ignore a Virginia custody order, Meyer & Bowden, PLLC can help. Our attorneys bring more than 50 years of combined experience representing clients in Virginia family law matters. We work hard to resolve disputes efficiently while staying ready to fight for our clients in court when needed. Attorney Tracy Meyer has been recognized as a "Top Divorce Lawyer" by both Washingtonian Magazine and Northern Virginia Magazine. Contact Leesburg child custody attorneys at Meyer & Bowden, PLLC or call 703-722-8692 to schedule a consultation.